My first week here has been a reintroduction into why I left in the first place. I left because I didn't fit in... well, more than that I didn't feel at home in the one place I should. Here, with my family, I feel so out of place. It's as if I'm merely an observer of what I was expected to have at my age.
So, I was at my sister Lorna's house for most of the past week. Nothing really interesting happened until last Friday when my family made me go play bingo with them at the tribal community center. The only one of us that won something was my sister Tippy, who won a PS2. I spent that night sitting next to my father writing down all of the calls so that he could dab his bingo card and not win anything. I went to my sister Lorna's from there. On Saturday, we all went back to my parents house and cut down some brush and had a fire in the back yard. I didn't help with the cutting because my leg was hurting pretty bad. After supper and hanging out, I went with my sister Lorna, her husband (Gabe) and their kids back to their home. On Sunday, Lorna made me go to church with them, which was awesome.... The only seats left were in the front. I spent the duration of the service both reading The Starship Titanic and taking notes on the discrepancies in the pastors sermon. This hardly kept me entertained.
The rest of the week was fairly uneventful. I graded some tests from my sister Lorna's science classes. I did get into a rather long winded argument with her early in the week though. She has the opinion that because she has a degree, she is more intelligent than me, or in fact more intelligent than anyone without a degree. This lasted several hours until she, at the prompting of her husband, who also doesn't have a degree, stomped off into her bedroom to pout.
This past Friday, I went to the Christmas concert at my old high school. It was kind of awesome. I got to talk to my old music director, who is one of the most important people in my life. He helped to shape the person I am today. The concert was great though, I seem to remember my class being better musicians. Most of the other people that had been to past concerts agreed. I think that my class had more love in our music. Anyway, at the end of the concert, as is the tradition, all Alumni from the music department were called up to the stage to close the concert singing Silent Night. I actually started crying. As much as I complain about being here, I will never forget the joy I found in being on stage playing music with Mr. Weinberger directing.
I don't think I will ever actually feel at home here. I do know that no matter what I get myself into I will always have a place to go where though, I'm not understood, I am loved.
Until next time,