Monday, December 15, 2008

Miss. Halfway Loves the Snow.

So, it's halfway through the month of December and I think I know what my goal is.

I applied for a job at the tribal office for the admin. assistant position. As, I'm short on cash right now this job would be awesome to get. Not to mention paid benefits as well as paid vacation and sick time. My goal for this month is to ace the interview and bag the job. I need this so I can also go back to school next month otherwise I may be screwed.

I finally put a long term plan together for school. I'm going to finish my general ed, maybe get my library tech certificate from community college and apply to UC Berkeley as an Anthropology major with a focus on Native American studies. I'll have to do awesome in school for the next year to get above the required levels for entrance. Hopefully that, plus my letters from the Tribal Council and past teachers will be enough.

I don't mind being in the mountains in California so much today.
It snowed about 3 inches last night and though I am sick, I went out to admire it at midnight while it was still snowing. This morning I went out early and got a few pictures. Being in the desert for a year gave me a new found appreciation for snow.


Friday, November 7, 2008

A self portrait....

In words....
Yes we all get that I am a horribly caustic cynic who does everything in her power to make her life seem harder than it is and generally just doesn't care about anyone except herself.

Also, my goals for November:
1. Don't fuck up my move to California
2. And for Christ's sake, do not give people any reason to think I'm the doormat I used to be.

A lot can change in a year. Or a few years.
Three years ago I was one of the nicest people you could meet. Terribly caustic but, only to myself.
Two years ago I grew an ego, this did not suit me as I had no reason to have one. (I also got acquainted with my good friend Vicodin (girl's gotta have her vices) Subsequently I moved back in with my parents for about a year.
One year ago I moved to Arizona. I learned a lot, grew up a little and met a new friend. His name is Reality. That cured me of a large part of my ego. Certainly not all of it however.
*goes afk for a new glass of champagne*
(remember those vices I was talking about in last year)
Today, due to extenuating circumstances e.g. my dad going to the hospital, I'm moving back to California with a new found *something* for life. Which is that I don't like it. Or rather I don't like most parts of it. I mostly see two choices: slacking off or working hard. Working hard got me fired last Friday (did I tell you about my week?) so, I'm going back to my job at the Tribal Office where I get great benefits, get paid little but, get to spend the majority of my time slacking off online. Meh. Ya live, ya learn. (Ya get a taste for Jack and Cokes as well as cigarettes. *shrug* Just sayin') As for the parts of life that I do like, that is largely due to the fact that I have amazing friends all of whom I'm leaving in Arizona as I go back to the state I could not wait to get out of. (seriously, I hate most of California save for San Francisco and Old Town Sacramento*specifically*) Family is family. I love my dad. Whatever.

So here's to a new month. *toasts*
I hope this one is better then the last which pretty much sucked ass except that I met one of my goals for October and almost met my second.


Saturday, October 4, 2008

My monthly goals.

I've decided to start having a goal each month. Upon my completion of each goal I will celebrate with tasty tasty booze and chocolate. This months goal I've opted out of posting just in case someone actually reads this thing. I will say the second part my goal is to find and start a new job. Since this month has two goals I won't consider it a failure if I don't find and start a new job by the months end. As I haven't talked to Merc about this yet I'm not sure if either is plausible or not. Only she knows what I'm actually capable of which is funny since we haven't seen eachother since July. I'll call her tomorrow to double check. For now though onwards and upwards! *ding*


Thursday, October 2, 2008


I think the problem here is that I'm not experienced in this situation. What is one to do? Usually, things happen in a certain way for me. It starts with a simple plan which get foiled terribly. I then have to work my ass off to get to a point where I can fix it. That, in turn, ends badly until things ultimately work themselves out and everything is fine. This situation, I don't see following that pattern. Here I have to work from the beginning but, I don't know how to go about it in a way that won't make me seem off. No one can give me adequate advice because they've not been at this point before. I'm not desperate here, I just believe that we have something, this unnamed potential and I'd like to explore that.